Sunday, February 27, 2011

"To think that great love doesn't involve work... just as mistaken as thinking that great work doesn't involve love."

The hubby and I will be celebrating our one year wedding anniversary at the end of March... And we have realized in the past few months that marriage is not as easy as we thought it would be. Chris and I both admit that things have been rough, and if we let ourselves get any deeper, its going to be too hard to climb back out. Don't get me wrong, we still have our good days, but we have bad days way to often. About two weeks ago, Chris and I had our third huge fight. Since then, I have noticed a huge change in Chris. I noticed a change after the first and second fight, but neither times was it what I needed. He has always been the voice of reason in our relationship when it comes to fighting; I'm too emotional for that role. It may sound selfish, but that is how our relationship has always worked. It may be different in the future, but for now thats what we have to do. I finally have him back, and it feels so good. We have still fought in the past two weeks, and I know that this is just the beginning, but I am happy with the progress we have made.

In the past few months, I have heard about this book twice:

Once was on another milspouse blog, and the other time was on The View; they each presented a book that changed their lives, and Elizabeth shared that The Five Love Languages had helped save her marriage. I felt like this book had found me.. Maybe it was a sign from God? I mentioned it to Chris, and he told me that we should order it. So I ordered it last week, along with Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, and it arrived a few days ago. I think we are going to start reading tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to it. It's never too soon to start working on your relationship, so I am really hoping that this will be a learning experience for us.

I think this is something that a lot of couples deal with. After you get married, your so happy that you think everything is going to be picture perfect, and when its not, your devastated. Throw in military life, a new city, underways, looming deployment, new responsibilities, and things get rough. And then to think that we were lucky this year because we didn't have to go longer than three months without seeing each other.. It makes the future scary. Nobody said marriage would  be easy, and nobody said that military marriage would be easy. I guess that's why we are a special breed, right? I have total faith that my husband and I will get through whatever rough seas are ahead of us.

I will continue to right about our journey through these two books, and hopefully I will be able to recommend them at the end!


  1. Following you back!
    Thanks for the honesty! As a newlywed myself, I know first hand that marriage is not easy. It's one of those things no one talks about because they're afraid of what other people think. So I appreciate it.

  2. This is a fantastic book. I think I've read it two or three times now. It really helps you understand how to better love your husband!
    Good luck! :)

  3. I haven't read this book but I really want to, I can't wait to read your review of it!

    (I am a new follower from the hop, I would love if you could visit me

  4. I highly recommend The 5 Love Languages book. My hubby and I both knew the other's love language, but we didn't know how to use that knowledge to help us communicate and express our love. It definitely gave us insight into what the other one needs to be happy. I hope you enjoy that book as much as we did!

  5. wonderful book! have you looked into the CREDO seminars? they use that as ther guiding instruction, and it's a really relaxing retreat weekend. it honestly helped us. i know the navy offers them also. if you're interested, ask your husband to talk to his command chaplain. happy reading!

  6. It is an amazing book! My husband and I read through it and have loved it. It has also helped my other relationships too.

    Another thing I would recommend is finding someone who does the Myers-Briggs personalty test. Usually colleges have someone. This has helped us so much in our marriage too.

  7. you're young, and marriage is still new, but even 5 yrs, 10 yrs down the road it's a constant learning environment because situations change and differ throughout your life, but you do start to understand each other better and understand how to handle one another in the best way possible. (not that, that always happens, hahaha)
    i've heard great things about the love languages book, hope it helps!!