Monday, February 28, 2011

Another blog

I have decided to make another blog.
Not to replace this one, but in addition to it.
One about baking and decorating. (I'm still trying to decide if thats what I want to make my career, so I'm thinking maybe this will help me decide?)
We will see how it goes and whether I decide to keep it.
In the meantime, check it out:

Theres no pictures or anything up yet, but I promise there will be soon!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

"To think that great love doesn't involve work... just as mistaken as thinking that great work doesn't involve love."

The hubby and I will be celebrating our one year wedding anniversary at the end of March... And we have realized in the past few months that marriage is not as easy as we thought it would be. Chris and I both admit that things have been rough, and if we let ourselves get any deeper, its going to be too hard to climb back out. Don't get me wrong, we still have our good days, but we have bad days way to often. About two weeks ago, Chris and I had our third huge fight. Since then, I have noticed a huge change in Chris. I noticed a change after the first and second fight, but neither times was it what I needed. He has always been the voice of reason in our relationship when it comes to fighting; I'm too emotional for that role. It may sound selfish, but that is how our relationship has always worked. It may be different in the future, but for now thats what we have to do. I finally have him back, and it feels so good. We have still fought in the past two weeks, and I know that this is just the beginning, but I am happy with the progress we have made.

In the past few months, I have heard about this book twice:

Once was on another milspouse blog, and the other time was on The View; they each presented a book that changed their lives, and Elizabeth shared that The Five Love Languages had helped save her marriage. I felt like this book had found me.. Maybe it was a sign from God? I mentioned it to Chris, and he told me that we should order it. So I ordered it last week, along with Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, and it arrived a few days ago. I think we are going to start reading tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to it. It's never too soon to start working on your relationship, so I am really hoping that this will be a learning experience for us.

I think this is something that a lot of couples deal with. After you get married, your so happy that you think everything is going to be picture perfect, and when its not, your devastated. Throw in military life, a new city, underways, looming deployment, new responsibilities, and things get rough. And then to think that we were lucky this year because we didn't have to go longer than three months without seeing each other.. It makes the future scary. Nobody said marriage would  be easy, and nobody said that military marriage would be easy. I guess that's why we are a special breed, right? I have total faith that my husband and I will get through whatever rough seas are ahead of us.

I will continue to right about our journey through these two books, and hopefully I will be able to recommend them at the end!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Milspouse Friday-Fill #31

1.Aside from no deployments, what is one thing you would want to make the MilSpouse life “perfect”? submitted by Oh How Delightful
Higher pay! If my hubby's base pay was doubled, that would be pretty perfect!

2.Just how many peppers did Peter Piper pick? submitted by Married into Army
hmm, makes me think of one of those car insurance commercials.

3.If you could have any career in the world with nothing holding you back, what would you do? submitted by It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To
This is the question I have been asking myself for the past year!
But if I could have ANY career with NOTHING holding me back, it would have to be something to do with horses. Although I have always wanted to be a jockey (even when I said I didn't want to be), I would have to say to own a state-of-the-art boarding facilility/ farm!
4.Do you have a service oriented tattoo and if so what is it. If you don’t what would you get? submitted by The Squid’s Accomplice
I have a swallow with a flower in his mouth and the words "My little flower." The swallow is a traditional sailor's tattoo with amazing symbolism behind it, and 'my little flower' is what my grandfather called me when he was in the hospital after heart surgery. My papa was a mean old man (but not to me of course!) and the only time he tried to talk to Chris or even be friendly towards him was, right before Chris left for basic. When Chris flew down on emergency leave for my grandpa's funeral, I knew I had to get a tattoo to bring together these two most important men in my life, so I got it that day (and Chris got his own also). I'm also planning to add an anchor with the words (my little flower) "has found her anchor."

5.Imagine a block of time has opened up in your busy day for you to take a class in anything you like. What subject would you choose? submitted by To The Nth
Dance! I miss it so much.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Milspouse Friday Fill-In!

This is my first Milspouse Friday Fill-In. It is hosted by Wife of a Sailor, and I think its such a great idea for the military blogging community! Now, on to the questions!

1.What is your favorite MilSpouse blog (not including Wife of a Sailor who we all love, or your own)? submitted by Our Crazy Life
At the moment I would have to say ACU's, Stiletto Shoes, and Pretty Pink Tutus. I just recently started following her, and I think that she is an amazing writer! Plus, she has the most adorable title!

2.What are your favorite perks about your s/o being deployed (we all know there are perks)? submitted by Ramblings of a Marine Wife
Even though deployments SUCK, one perk is that there is less cleaning to do! I know my hubby isn't the only messy one out there!

3.How long did you date your before getting engaged? Married? submitted by Utterly Chaotic
I dated Chris for 10 months before we got engaged, and then got married a month later. I know its superrr quick, but we put a lot of thought into it, and I KNOW that he is the one for me.

4.What do you think your would do if s/he wasn’t in the military? submitted by Adventures of M-Squared
He would be a photographer! Or own a hookah bar/ coffee lounge haha

5.If you could talk to the Secretary of the Navy what is one suggestion you would like to bring to their attention in order to improve the lives of military families? submitted by My Life as His (Air Force) Wife
Whenever I get frustrated about something, I tell Chris that I need to talk to 'Mr. Navy' and give him a piece of my mind. I guess maybe I should say 'secretary of the navy' to be more accurate. Anyway, I guess my unrealistic answer is that the Navy should pay more attention to families. Just last week, my hubby's division was told that they could be sent TAD, and 'it doesn't matter whether they are single or married.' And we won't find out until like 2 days before he has to go. I'm not asking the Navy to not send my husband because he is married, but just to prepare spouses a little more. They call us 'dependents' but then don't let us depend on our husbands because we never know what to expect!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I have a blog

Last week I finally told the hubby that I have a blog. It was so hard to keep it from him; I tell him everyyything. But I was really self conscious about what he would think.. Would he think it was corny to have a blog titled, Ashley, the Little Navy Wife? Not that Chris ever judges me, but still. I was nervous.
So I told him about it.. He smiled and said, "really?" Then he asked me to show it to him and really wanted to read it. Of course he gave me a hard time about not telling him for so long, but in the end he assured me that he wasn't upset. He even asked how to get to it himself so he can read it on his next duty day. hah.
So do any of your hubby's read your blog?

*Right after writing this I got a phone call from the hubby asking me to bring him a paper that he needed.. So I had to drive all the way to the base, about 20 miles away.. Ugh. But at least I got lots of kisses and I love you's to make up for it!

Well I'm off to fill out some applications.. Keep your fingers crossed.. Our car has been smoking and I need a job so we can get a new one!!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tricare may not be perfect...

... but I'm still grateful for it.

When I was growing up, I either had no insurance or crappy insurance. My dad is a jockey, and since horse racing is considered one of the most dangerous sports, most insurance companies see him as a huge liability. Before I married the hubby, I hadn't had insurance for over a year- and didn't know for the first few months that my dad had canceled it. Also, I haven't had dental insurance since before I was in high school. So lets just say having tricare makes me feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I hate going to the doctor, and refuse to unless I'm in horrible pain, or I have a sore throat (when I was little the doctor told me I was prone to throat infections/ strep... I just now am growing out of it and only get strep about twice a year, instead of every other month). About 5 months ago, I started having extremely bad cramps during my period. I have always had worse cramps than most people I know, but this was like rolling-around-crying-in-bed cramps.  Then about 2 months later, I started getting a sharp pain below my belly button that would last 10-30 seconds and then go away. A few times, I even woke up in the middle of the night rolling around in pain. I kept telling myself, "If it hurts one more time, I will go to the doctor." Finally, one night I went to bed with a dull aching in my stomach, and the hubby told me that if I woke up with the pain we WERE going to the ER. The day I finally gave in was the day that we were flying home to AZ for Christmas break, so we left for the ER at 4 am. I was the only patient that morning, and all the doctors and nurses (or corpsmen I guess lol) were so nice and attentive. I did a couple exams, and ultrasounds (it took an hour!), and found out that I had an ovarian cyst on the OPPOSITE side where I was having most of the pain, which is because the blood flows out that way (I know, gross, I'm sorry). There was nothing they could do but give me pain meds and refer me to go to my PCM in a few months. Well when I talked to my doctor, she made me a little nervous:

Doctor: -looking down and writing on clipboard- Did they tell you what kind of cyst it was, like a simple cyst, or..
 Me: No, they just told me that I had an 8cm cyst.
Doctor: -looks up from clipboard now- 8
Me: Yes.. -looks at hubby for confirmation, who reiterates 8 cm-
Doctor- well that's really big, and your really small. Lets set you up for an ultrasound.

Here's where I encountered my first problem with tricare- I have been waiting for two weeks for the referral for the ultrasound. The pain is worse now- my cramps start 2 days before my period and last a few days after. They are so bad that I am constantly on vicodin during that time (which makes me super talkative, and then super dizzy and I HAVE to go to sleep), so its a long cycle. I also get sharp pains when I move a certain way that cause me to hunch over and YELL. Its scary having pain so close to my ovaries, and so intense.. I just want to get it over with. Plus, my biggest fear is the word infertility.

On another note- I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in almost 5 YEARS. It was so painful to have my teeth cleaned since it had been so long- I was almost in tears the whole time, and it still hurts to chew. I have quite a few cavities (not bad enough to have to get shots though!) which tricare only pays half of, so we are going to have to do it in 4 visits to pay for it. I couldn't believe the estimate. Also, I have to get my wisdom teeth out, but I got a referral to Balboa, so I'm hoping we can get it done for free, yeah!

That was probably super boring information that you didn't want to know about me, but that's  my life, and that's what my blog is about : )

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day!

Today is the first Valentines Day that my hubby and I get to spend together, and I am so excited!

Last year, Chris was at bootcamp for V-day, yuck. So I got to spend the day with another amazing man- my grandpa. Later that day I found out that Chris sent money to one of his friends, and she got me flowers and took me to the movies. hah he is so cute.

Isn't it unfortunate that valentines day falls on a Monday this year? I know a lot of people celebrated over the weekend.. We had a date night Saturday, but we are saving the rest of the celebrating for today. Since we went out for a veryy expensive dinner for my bday last month, we are having a home-cooked meal. A very special home-cooked meal at that. Penne a la vodka (one of my favorite Italian dishes, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it turns out like the restaurants!) and asparagus, and little cream bites for dessert. And of course, champagne. Mmmmm.

I thought we weren't going to go overboard this valentines day since we have spent so much money in the past three months on holidays and plane tickets, but apparently I was wrong. I found him some gameboy games on ebay (thats one thing he does on his downtime during duty days lol) and a couple other surprises. I know that he put a lot of thought into what he got me and "I will never guess what it is." Only a few more hours until I find out, yay!

My heart goes out to all of you that have a deployed loved one- I know that holidays, especially Valentines Day, can make it even harder to be away.

I am so grateful to have such an amazing and loving man in my life <3

Thursday, February 10, 2011

MWR financial counseling

Last week, the hubby and I went to an appointment with one of the financial counselors through the MWR. Since we had such a great experience, I thought I would share with you.

Here's a little preface:
The hubs and I will be married for a year at the end of March. He is 19, I am 20. We both came from single-income homes (translation- neither of us grew up with money). We both got a job from a young age. I payed for all my bills (which, with a horse, a car, cell phone, etc. added up) and when Chris and I met, he payed for everything that included us. We know what its like to live paycheck to paycheck, both inside the military and out. Since getting married, we have done a good job with managing our finances.. But now we have so many bills and responsibilities. So Chris and I had a talk about managing our money, and building credit, and decided to make an appointment with a financial counselor.

The day before our appointment, Chris and I sat down to fill out the budget we were required to fill in and bring with us. Since there are so many factors into our net income, (we are currently getting BAS, but that will be up in the next few months.. I'm not employed now, but hope to be in the next few months) I got frustrated and said that I didn't want to go because I am fully capable of making our own budget. Chris convinced me that it would be good to hear from an expert, so we went! Our appointment was with an awesome and hyper man named Kermit. We went through the budget, filling in how much money we had in all accounts, how much we spent on every little thing, how much our assets were worth. At the end, we found out that we accounted for all of our money- we were less than 1% off. It was the closest he had seen, and we were pretty surprised ourselves. He then talked to us about retirement planning, investing, and he even had some advice about credit and car shopping.
Kermit was so surprised and happy to see us- most of the people who come in are so far in debt that they can't find a way out. We have everything in order, and just wanted some reassurance. He told us about some seminars, asked us to do some research about retirement plans (like tsp), and come back to him in a few months.

Here's the best part: It is completely FREE. So even if you think you have everything in order, I still recommend that you take advantage of MWR financial counseling. If anything, you will walk out feeling reassured and with a few tips to make the best of your own money.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Lost Valentine

How many people out there watched this tear-jerker of a movie last week?

As soon as I found out about the movie, I set the tv to dvr it, and the hubby and I watched it this weekend. I warned him that it would be a tear-jerker, but he said that he actually wanted to watch it.
If you didn't catch it, heres a quick synopsis (don't worry, I won't spoil anything. I hate when people do that!):
A young journalist gets assigned to film a piece about a WWII widow who sits at the train station every Valentines Day to wait for her missing in action husband and to keep her end of their promise. She was 19 years old when he left, and has been waiting for 60 years.
Sad movies can usually get a tear out of me, but this one had me bawlingg at the end. I can only imagine back in those days, hearing everyday that someone you know has lost their loved ones. Hearing everyday about young widows. Today, our men are still fighting a battle, but our country doesn't feel the same pride. It's sad. But thats a topic for another day. I don't even want to imagine what it would feel like to lose my husband.
I won't necessarily recommend it, because I don't know where you are at in your life. It might be a little too much to handle because your SO might be away, or it might hit a little too close to home.But if your ready for a good cry, go on ahead. I'm most likely going to get the book, so I will let you know how it is. Like they say, the books are always better than movies.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror

Okay, I might have taken it a little too literally. lol
When I look in the mirror, I see a wife, a daughter, a friend, an aunt, a lover, and a fighter.
Some days I don't feel as pretty as others, some days I don't even want to look in the mirror, and other days I feel good about what I see. Either way, I'm comfortable in the skin I'm in.

On a side note- my sister had her baby boy on Saturday!! He is so precious!

This 30 days of me is now overrr.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Day 29 - Your dreams

My dreams are really simple. but... complicated at the same time. hah.

I dream of staying with my husband for the rest of my life... Out of my huge family, I have only seen two marriages last. So if I wasn't suck a hopeless romantic, I would be like my friend Katey and never want to get married.
I dream of having happy, healthy children running around that I gave birth to. My mom was told that she would never give birth, and I have already had complications that could make conceiving difficult. Not being able to have babies is one of my biggest fears in life.
I dream of having money, or 'being successful' as my hubby would put it. I don't dream of being rich, but I don't want to struggle paycheck to paycheck or have to worry about bills.
I dream of having a yellow house with a wrap-around white porch. I want my hubby and I to each have the cars that we want, and our kids to get to do whatever activity they decide.
I dream of having a horse again. This is my first time not being around horses, and I don't like it!
I dream of being able to find out what I want to do in life. In the future, I want to stay home with our kids until they go to school, but I want to have a career and an education before that.

I dream of the simple things in life- a happy family, a sucessful career, and love. So many people miss out on those things, and I don't want to be one of them.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day 28 - Someone that changed your life

I have a similar answer for a lot of these, so they probably aren't very interesting.

I think I have said this before, but I let people impact me really easily. So most of the people who I have let get close to me have changed my life in some way. Since the hubby and I went to a financial counselor yesterday (will post about that later!) I think I am going to write about him once again. lol.

My mom raised me solo, and worked really hard in order to do so. When I was younger, she never let me know that we didn't have a lot of money, and always spoiled me. Even as I got older, my mom would drain her bank account just to make sure that we had a nice christmas like everyone else. I got my first job when I was 15.. I was only allowed to work one shift a week for a while because of my age, but by the time I was a senior in high school, I was working two jobs. I spent at least two hours on the bus a day and got less than 5 hours of sleep a night (and I am one of those people who can and will sleep 10 hours a day every single night!). I also ran cross country and took AP classes. When I met Chris, life was pretty rough. Not to mention the fact that I had no faith in men whatsoever. In college, I became the stereotypical poor college kid- I did nothing but work and do homework (except when I got to see Chris on the weekends). I never had to ask, but when something would go wrong with my car etc, Chris wouldn't even think of letting me pay for it.

It took some time, and we are not even all the way there yet, but Chris has shown me that he is not like 'other guys.' I trust my husband with my whole heart, and I know that he is different from other men. My mom and I had a conversation yesterday after talking about another couple we know, and we decided that not many men are comfortable with letting their wives stay at home. Chris is an exception- he has told me that since I have worked so hard, he is fine with letting me relax for a while. To show him my gratitude, I make sure that he always comes home to a clean house and has home cooked meals. I take my job has a house wife very seriously. I know it sounds funny, but its true!

Even though these past 6 months have been a blessing, I am ready to go back to work. Especially since I am asking Chris for a 'real wedding reception' and its going to be costly $$. I have been job searching for almost 3 months now, and with this economy, I don't know how much longer it will take!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

"Why don't you have your wife bake something?"

I used to joke with Chris how I wanted to be the navy wife who was known for her awesome baking skills. It didn't take long, but I think I am getting there : )

Scenario 1: The hubs tells me that we got invited to go to a friends for the fight Saturday night.. but that I HAVE to bake something. Last weekend, I brought cookies to his housewarming party, and they were gone before I even got one.. I even saw people eating with one in each hand. lol.

Scenario 2: Later that night, Chris also tells me that he has a potluck on Friday for his chief that is leaving. When they asked what he was bringing he told them a bag of chips, and someone said, "Why don't you have your wife bake us something sweet?" After that, how can I not send something home-made? Plus, his chief has been so sweet to us.

Not to mention that we invited one of the guys that Chris works with over for dinner one night and he was pretty impressed.. I made him a good old southern meal, and he loved my sweet cornbread. Okay, enough bragging. Especially since I sent in my resume and some pictures for a 'cupcake assistant' job and didn't get it. AND I had an interview for a secretary position at an ad firm yesterday and didn't get that either. I feel so unqualified since everyone wants someone with experience. The hubby and I talked yesterday, and I am going to apply to restaurants until I go back to school in the fall. I can't be too choosy about where I work. ugh. Wish me luck! With both finding a job and figuring out what I want to go to school for : )