Cancer

In the past year, my family has been hit with a lot. Last year, my oldest aunt was diagnosed with colon cancer. Now, as she is nearing the end of her treatment, we received more shocking news- another one of my aunts has been diagnosed with breast cancer that has spread to her lungs and brain. I've always heard the saying, "We all know someone who has been impacted by cancer" but never has it hit so close to home. I'm getting ready to make a trip back, and I'm hoping that my giggly little man will bring some smiles. Especially since my aunt Carol is the only one in my large family that actually calls and asks to see Caden when we visit.
Anyway, my family could use some prayers right now. And I'm not expecting anyone to donate to someone they don't even know, but I posted her gofundme on my sidebar just in case.

Road to pregnancy

I've had this written up for a while, and I think it is fitting to post since Caden turned six months this week!

I've always wanted to be a mom- that was all I wanted to be ‘when I grew up’. At the same time, I knew that I wanted to make something of myself; I hadn't worked my ass off in school for all those years for nothing. When I met my husband, I was getting ready to leave for college, and when we got married, I was in my second semester at UofA. We would talk about wanting to start a family, but we didn't have an answer for when we wanted it to happen, so we agreed to wait until closer to my graduation.

Our decision became a little clearer when I was diagnosed with endometriosis in March 2011 during surgery to remove an ovarian cyst. For a few months after the diagnosis, I would burst into tears at the thought of what the disease could be doing inside my body. I continued to tell myself, as well as my husband, that we weren't in the right place in our lives to have a baby, but really I think I was just terrified of the thought that I couldn't get pregnant. I kept pushing the thought to the back of my mind, but there was always some kind of reminder that would come out of nowhere. Although I had never even heard of endometriosis until the day before my surgery, somehow it was everywhere in front of me.

Things became even more clear one morning when I was watching The View while drinking coffee. The last segment was about a woman whose mom was her surrogate for her unborn child (crazy, right). The woman was in her late 20's and had been diagnosed at 22 with endometriosis. By the time she got married and began trying to start a family three years later, the disease had made her infertile. I literally felt my stomach drop. Three years. That evening, I told my husband about the story. I was too afraid to say the words I wanted to say, so when he grabbed my hand and said, "Let's have a baby," I felt like I could finally breathe.

So, I went off birth control. I felt like it was perfect timing because I had an appointment a few weeks later to follow up with my doctor after going to pelvic floor physical therapy. At the appointment, I was ready to talk to the doctor about my endometriosis and getting pregnant, but I was sideswiped with another diagnosis: fibromyalgia. At the end of the appointment, Chris and I explained our desire to want to start trying for a baby, and she tried to discourage us. First, she told me that my body wasn't ready for pregnancy- I needed to learn how to manage my fibro pain first. When I insisted that I could handle any extra pain it caused and that I was worried I would become infertile if I waited, she threw another punch: with the pain I was in and the stress of Chris's looming deployment, I would not be able to get pregnant in the next few months. I felt like I had just reached the top of a hill, and she pushed me back down. I cried on the way home because I could not wrap my head around the fact that not only did I have to accept that I have another chronic pain disorder, but I had another strike against my chances of getting pregnant.

When we got home and talked about what we just learned, Chris kept saying that he was nervous about the toll that pregnancy could put on my body, but I just kept telling him that I could handle anything.. No amount of pain could stop me from having a baby. There was no way I could even consider listening to the doctor and waiting until I got my fibro under control, because I didn't have time. Chris was leaving for deployment in 6 months, and I had no idea how long until my endo got bad enough to make me infertile (or if it had already). So we agreed to continue trying.

I knew I wasn't going to get pregnant that first month, but when aunt flo visited, I couldn't help but be upset. I had downloaded an ovulation calendar on my phone, which was really difficult to use and really inaccurate for someone who had been on continuous birth control and only had 4 periods a year, so I knew it wasn't going to work for us. About three months in, I decided to take another pregnancy test because my period was only two days late, but I knew that I was going to see a negative sign. When we were down to the last three months, I bought an at home ovulation kit, but once again we got a negative signs. I had spent the past eight months hoping and praying, and being off birth control put me into so much pain- I felt so defeated. Two weekends before Chris left for deployment, I got a positive sign on the ovulation stick, but I honestly had given up at that point.

When Chris left for deployment, we decided that he would call on the second Friday so I could tell him the news, good or bad. A week and a half passed, and on Tuesday I was standing in the living room when a terrible cramp hit me, and I doubled over onto the couch. The next few hours I spent curled up in a ball in pain, thinking that I was about to start my period. My cramps had been terribly painful the past two years; it was nothing new for me, so I took a vicodin like I normally did, but this time I was distraught because it meant I wasn’t pregnant. When my cramps went away that night, I was so confused, normally my cramps put me in bed for three or four days before they start to get better. The next two days, I couldn’t stop thinking, “What if I had been pregnant but had a miscarriage?” I knew that I was supposed to wait until Friday morning to take the pregnancy test, but something was telling me not to wait, so at about 11pm on Thursday I did. Unlike every other time I had taken a pregnancy test, this time I felt oddly calm. After the two minutes, I checked the test and saw two lines.. not pregant.. my heart dropped because I thought for sure this was it. As the tears came, something didn’t feel right, so I reread the pamphlet that came with the test, and sure enough, I had read it wrong. Two lines meant positive, I was pregnant. It was a moment of relief, happiness, and loneliness at the same time. I wanted so badly to share this amazing news with my husband, but I had to wait who knew how long for him to get the ok to call me.

When Chris finally called the next afternoon, I was bursting at the seams to tell him the news. I will never forget the way he choked up and said “I’m so happy” in the sweetest voice.

My 'I just found out I'm pregnant' mirror picture

 

If you actually made it through reading this whole thing, thank you for listening! And if you have written your ‘road to pregnancy,’ I would love to read it!

Linking up at Life of Faith

Friday's Letters

Dear Boston Victims, My heart truly goes out to you. Dear Computer, I feel like your getting ready to die on my anytime now.. You keep warning me that I need to buy a new battery and I have to mess with your screen for five minutes to get it clear. My warranty just wore out, and I really don't want to spend the money to get a new laptop! Dear McDonald's Iced Coffee, At 4:00 yesterday, I decided that I really wanted you for the first time in over a year, so I gave in. And how did you repay me? By keeping me up all night. My son already does a good job at that, thank you very much. Dear Hubby, I am so lucky to be married to a man who may not understand me all the time, but at least accepts me for who I am. The past two weeks, I have been so easily overwhelmed, and it feels really nice to be able to have a shoulder to cry on. Dear Baby Boy, Last night, I went to check on you one more time before going to bed and found you on your belly with your butt in the air. I'm not sure how you learned that in your sleep, but it was oh, so adorable!

Owning my Blog

When I first started writing this blog, I didn't tell anyone. In fact, I think it was a few months before I even told my husband. I'm not sure why I have been so secretive.. Maybe I'm afraid people will judge what I write or judge me for the simple fact that I have a blog. Anyway, I'm ready to take ownership of my blog, and that means sharing the link on facebook so that my friends and family can read what I'm writing. One reason I decided to make this leap is because I write so much about my little man, and since we live in another state, our family doesn't get to see him much so this is a way for them to be informed about all the milestones he is reaching.

So here's to opening up my blog : )

Friday's Fancies

Spring in Cali by ashleyecormier featuring true-religion skinny jeans

J.Crew j crew sweater / True Religion true-religion skinny jeans / ALDO espadrille wedge / GUESS necklace

To me, Spring in Southern Cali means light sweaters, wedges, and soft colors. 

linking up for Friday's Fancies!



 

 

My decision to be a stay at home mom

Chris and I decided very early on that I would stay home with our son. Before getting pregnant, I spent a year working full time as a supervisor at a deli and going to school online. I quit my job a couple weeks before Chris left for deployment so that we could focus on spending time together, and we had already made plans for me to move back home with my mom *just in case* I got pregnant. I moved back to San Diego when I was about six months pregnant, and a day later was offered my old job. I excitedly accepted, since it was something to keep me busy for the month until Chris got home, and the extra income would pay for the whole nursery. I worked for two months, and it was torture. My belly button was right even with the counter, so everytime my belly grazed the counter, I would get a braxton hicks contraction. It was funny to see the reactions of all of my old 'regulars' though- I had left to move back home while my husband was deployed, and showed back up seven months pregnant. I could only imagine what they were thinking.



My last day at work!

I stopped working about six weeks before Caden was born and took three months off of school. It really is difficult going to school with a little one- I have to do class work, clean the house, eat, and get my self ready during Caden's short nap times. Chris takes Caden when I need to do homework at night, but that leaves us little time together.
As much as I love staying home with my son, sometimes it gets hard being stuck in the house every day since I'm not used to it. So when I got offered my job back again last week, I'm not surprised that I actually considered it for a minute. I thought about what it would feel like to get out of the house and socialize with coworkers again, the hourly pay I would have to ask for to cover day care, the process of choosing a day care. Then it hit me- the reason I had decided to stay home in the first place. I want to spend every day with my son. I want to watch him learn new things. I want to be the one to put him down for a nap and be there when he wakes up. I have nothing against women who decide (or have to) go back to work. In fact, a few years ago, I didn't know whether I wanted to be a stay at home mom or a business woman. My choice was made clear when I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 20 years old, and we decided to try for a baby a few months later. With two years of school left and an entry level job, I ended up getting exactly what I wanted all along- time to stay home with my babies and time to pursue a career later. It isn't what I originally pictured for my life, but it is absolutely the way I want things to be!

Oh, How Pinteresting: Cuteness

Cloth Diapers

When I was pregnant, I decided that I really wanted to use cloth diapers since it is so much more eco friendly, but I had no idea where to start. Chris has always been pretty iffy about cloth diapers, but I finally convinced him when Caden was about 4 months old. I have discovered that the only way to save money with cloth diapers is to have a large stash, but since I’m new to this I have decided to just by a few different brands to see which one I like the best, and we will just wait to see the $$ savings with the next baby. Besides, it is more about the sustainability than the money for me. So far in my ‘stash’ I have: gDiaper ‘hybrids’, Rumparooz cover, Blueberry cover, Shinebaby pocket diaper, and I’m about to order a few from Alva. Be on the look out for posts on my review for each brand!

Friday's Letters

Caden's first Easter

Dear Sickness, I have spent my whole spring break dealing with you (and Easter weekend); please go away. Dear Lettuce, Your growing so well! I can't wait to try you this weekend. Dear Husband, Thank you for being so sweet to me while I was sick this week, and even waking up with Caden a few nights. Dear Baby Boy, You rolled over for the first time about a month and a half ago. Then a few weeks later, you stopped rolling. So a few days ago, I put you in your crib on your tummy and turned your mobile on so that you would have to roll over to see it. It worked, but I created a monster. Now that you rediscovered your rolling over ability, you don't stop.. As in, you keep rolling until you run into something!

Three years!

Yesterday, Chris and I celebrated our three year anniversary. We kept things low key this year and tried to cook a romantic dinner: bruschetta and bread, shrimp cocktail, and pasta with cream sauce. Dinner was lovely, and neither of us minded that our baby boy was at the table with us, in fact, it made things even better. After putting Caden to bed, we swapped our cards and made chocolate fondue in my little dipper crockpot and dipped strawberries, bananas, marshmellows, and angel food cake. For some reason, we kept giggling about random things during dessert (and Chris kept making fondue jokes). It felt really good to just laugh together.. We have been so wrapped up in our new lives as parent's that we haven't been 'dating' each other much lately. Even though we kept things really simple, it was exactly what we needed in our relationship. I can't wait to spend the next year with my amazingly sweet, handsome, and (sometimes) funny husband!

Oh, How Pinteresting: Easter

Source: ameblo.jp viaMarta on Pinterest

 

 

Source: sheknows.com viaAndrea on Pinterest

 

 

Source: papernstitchblog.com viaLauren on Pinterest

 

 

Source: thesweetseasonblog.com viaAshley on Pinterest

 

Looking into the bloggy future

I have had this blog for almost three years now; isn’t that crazy? I’ve never really had a specific plan for this blog, I just created it to document my life as a newly married navy wife and wrote whatever I felt like writing. I still plan to do that, but I also have some topics in mind that I want to focus on: a green living series like I mentioned in another post, and life as a young mom. I’m really excited to share my birth story, as well as some struggles we faced before and after, something that I have put off writing/sharing until I felt ready. I’m also looking forward to sharing some fashion posts and recipes! I hope you will join me : )

Friday's Letters

Dear Hubs, You always work so hard to take care of our family without ever complaining or being in a bad mood. I could take a few pointers from you. I love you! Dear Weekend, I'm excited for you! Getting my hair done, shopping, and hiking! Dear Nails, I have tried to paint you twice. The first time, I ruined you by doing dishes 15 minutes after painting you.. I had no choice, I hate waking up to a dirty kitchen. The second time I messed you up, I just left it. I guess when your a mom you have an excuse to have a few smears in your polish. Dear Caden, What happened to sleeping through the night? Now you are awake ALL night. I have been feeling pretty grumpy when I wake up in the morning, but your smile always takes it all away! Dear Hubs (again), A little birdie told me that you are going to wake up with Caden one night this weekend. Thank you thank you thank you.

Green weekend

I know this post is a little late, but that is because I was waiting for an email with pictures..

Saturday morning we took Jack on the woof walk at the base. I haven't been able to get much exercise lately, so I got my workout in by carrying Caden in the moby wrap on our mile walk (don't judge- my 16 pound baby is half my size). We went for the first time two years ago, and Jack was pretty nervous, but he warmed up by the end, so Chris and I figured he would be a little better this year. Wrong. Jack was the most nervous dog at the event.. and there were at least 100 dogs there. Poor guy, I wish he had more fun sniffing butts with other dogs.

 

After the walk, we went to a farmer's market. We got fresh strawberries, kale, cabbage, bread, and honey. If you haven't had fresh, local honey, you are missing out! We stopped at a little park to feed Caden, and while we were there we took advantage of some cute photo opportunities.

On Sunday, we celebrated St. Patricks Day by going out and getting hammered! Just kidding, we stayed home with the baby, and I made good old corned beef and cabbage. I did have a sip of hubby's beer but that is about as crazy as we got.

Even though it was super simple, it was one of the best weekends we have had in a while! Have you started to take advantage of the warmer weather yet?

Bloglovin'

Thanks to some other lovely bloggers out there, I recently found out that Google Reader is disappearing, so now I'm on Bloglovin'! I still don't know my way around all this blog stuff...

 

 

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Green Living

I'm not sure where it started, but sometime in high school I became conscious of how our actions affect the environment. Then in my freshman year of college, I took a class called climate change, and I leaned about the full scale affects on our planet.
Disclaimer: if you are one of those wackos who do not believe in global warming, you can leave this page.. Your ignorance is not welcome here.
I'm not one of those crazy hippies who don't shave their legs because they don't want to throw away a razor, but I do take little steps every day to reduce my footprint. I've even recruited my husband, and he does his best to make his contributions as well.
American's throw away over 1,000 pounds of trash every day, and only about a quarter of that gets recycled... Even though it is so easy to reduce waste and carry that extra trash can to the recycling!
I would love to share some of the things that we do around our house to be eco friendly to maybe inspire others and receive some tips as well! So every so often I will share some 'green living' posts and hopefully you will enjoy reading them!
Btw, I really enjoyed reading the book Gorgeously Green because it was written by a woman who wanted to change the connotation of eco-friendly and make it more approachable for the modern woman. You can also check out Sophie's website here.

Oh, how pinteresting: nails

Since it is almost summer time, I've got my eyes on some cute nail ideas! Now, if I could only find the time to do them...

 

Source: never-unpolished.com via Ashley on Pinterest

 

Source: ink361.com via Jessie on Pinterest

 

Source: iknowhair.com via Carissa on Pinterest

 

Source: pomponner.jp via Ashley on Pinterest

 

Source: Uploaded by user via Ashley on Pinterest

 

What have you been pinning lately?

 

Veteran Navy Wife

November 2011

Looking back at my old posts, I realized that I have come a long way since I started this blog as a newlywed whose husband was on his first deployment. After three years, and spending plenty of time away from my husband and dealing with military bs, I feel like I can call my self an 'experienced navy wife' and fully capable of giving insight into this rollercoaster life.
Since starting this journey, I have experienced:

• A 3 month deployment with 2 days notice
• Moving across states while my husband was underway not once, but three times
• Too many short underways (1 week to 1 month) to count
• Not being afraid of being home alone after many duty nights
• Having my husband deployed for 7 months of my pregnancy
• Loss of communication for days on end
• My hubby getting to take part in a hall swap.. which included almost no way of communicating while he was in Japan for a couple weeks
• The strains of deployment on a marriage.. especially when pregnancy hormones are involved
• Worrying about whether we are going to get paid because congress can't agree on anything
• Wondering how this crazy thing called sequestration is going to affect our family
• Discovering how 'wonderful' navy medicine is
• Learning about my hubby's job and the annoying way a chain of command works
• The uncertainty of reenlisting
• TWO yard periods

I can now understand most of the things that my hubby says about work, mostly understand what his job is, and fully understand that nothing is certain in military life.
Right now, Chris's ship is getting ready to enter a yard period, where the ship gets repaired. The USS Essex was stationed in Japan for the past 10 years, so there are alot of repairs that are scheduled to take a year and a half. So far, there is no news that sequestration will affect the ship, but with all the changes we have been hearing about lately, I wouldn't be surprised. Chris is up for orders at the end of the year, and while he has an awesome eval, anything is possible, so we are preparing for all of our options. It is crazy to think that we could be somewhere completely new a year from now!

November 2012

Friday's Letters



Dear Mom, You really are the best grandma that a little boy could ask for. Dear Son, You have developed a love for screaming the past few days, and it is not crying-screaming, but the I-scream-at-you-and-wait-for-you-to-scream-back-with-a-smile-on-my-face kind. Two days around your daddy's side of the family, and you already picked up their loudness. Dear Nurse, I know it was your first day back to the peds unit, but you did a terrible job at giving my baby boy his shots. Dear Tax Return, I can't wait to get you! After all the responsible stuff, we are going to have a little extra for shoppingggg. Dear Husband, This week you got a tattoo of our son, and it is a-maz-ing. I can't wait until the first time Caden realizes its him!

Hubby's tattoo- Caden's face on a Woody doll (from Toy Story) holding a HELLP syndrome balloon

weekend with the fam

This past weekend we took the little man back home to Phoenix to see family since he has changed so much in the two months since our last trip. We also picked up my mom, who is staying with us for two whole weeks!
To say the least, Caden was a spoiled little boy the whole weekend. For almost 3 days he was held, cooed at, and never set down. We had to fit a lot of visits into one weekend, so by the time we made our drive home, my baby boy was more than exhausted and just wanted his momma. Doesn't it make you feel good when that happens?
Caden got to meet two new faces during this trip. He got to meet his cousin, AnnaBelle, who was born just 4 days before him. She looked so dainty next to him though! It is so cute to see babies interact with each other at such a young age.. Caden was all smiles and even grabbed her hand and held on for a good two minutes. He also got to meet some of our good friends, who are expected their own baby any day now. Chris and I tried to pass on all of the little things that we have learned in the past four months that no one had told us about.

Caden and his cousin in their sunglasses

It was good to see the family, but it sure feels good to be home. Of course, we all woke up with a cold the day after we got home, so we are still recovering from that. Oh, and my son has now become a grandma's boy!