Friday, July 11, 2014

SAHM debate

I don't know why stay-at-home-moms have to be such a hot topic. I don't know how many battles of working moms vs stay at home moms I have heard or read. Any article about either one turns into a battle of right versus wrong, and it is just ridiculous.

I think that a woman's role as a mom is whatever she makes it. When my husband and I were first married, I told him of my desire to be a stay at home mom. I also told him that it didn't seem likely, since I was already a year into college and had plans to have a career. I made sure to get his opinion, since he was just as important to our family as me, and found out that he was supportive either way.

During the summer of 2011, a few months after being diagnosed with endometriosis, my husband and I started trying for a baby. I was working full time as a supervisor at a local sub shop, taking classes online, and my husband was going to be leaving on a deployment shortly after the first of the year. It was way earlier than either of us had expected to be trying to conceive, but it felt right. When I told my boss I was going to be quitting in January, I didn't give them the full explanation. I was hoping I would be pregnant by that time and moving back home to spend my pregnancy with family, but I couldn't say something so outrageous. It wasn't actually until the middle of February, a week after my husband left for deployment, that I found out we were expecting.

I did work for two months when I moved back to Cali at the end of my pregnancy to help pay for the nursery, but when I was offered my job again when my son was a few months old, Chris eagerly supported my decision to decline.

I absolutely love being a stay at home mom. I do think it is a lot of work, but its the kind of work that I look forward to doing every day. I try to take an active role as a mother, but that doesn't mean that I am successful all the time.

My personal view on being a mother will always be the same: I knowingly brought a child into this world and since I have the means to stay home, I will raise my child myself. Of course, there are many women out there who are already knee-deep in their careers and want to have a job and kids, and I won't judge them for their decisions. My mother worked my whole life, and besides missing her as a child, I don't think I turned out any differently because of that factor alone. She was an amazing mother, and now as an adult, I can look back and respect her working so hard to support our family.

I choose to be a stay at home mom because it is the best decision for my family. I take online college classes full time, I live six hours away from family, and I am the wife of a military member who spends plenty of time away and makes enough money to allow me to stay home with our son full time. My husband and I made the decision to have a child, and I believe that my calling is to raise our son.

In the future, I will go to work and begin my career, but I don't know when that will be. God has blessed me with an amazing opportunity right now, and I am enjoying (almost) every minute of it! I have built a wonderful bond with my son, but so has my husband, who goes to work every day. Parenting is what you make it.

The Life Of Faith


  1. I, too am a stay at home mom. Luckily I haven't had anyone say anything negative about this because I would have to tell them to mind their own business! I still can't understand why women (and men) think they can get involved in others lives...

  2. You said it so well with the last line. It truly is what we make it. We ourselves can only decide what is right for each of us.
    Angela @ Time with A & N

  3. I love this! I don't have any kids yet, but I know a few stay at home moms. My sister and her husband decided that she is going to be a stay at home mom, too -- whenever they have kids that is. My sister joked that she's just going to keep popping out children so she won't have to return to her job again.